So, that's what Faith is

i am going. i am actually going. i got my flights, my vaccinations, my passport... it's real! and, it's so funny 'cause when i thought about the anticipation to my leave, i only thought of pure excitement. oh, how little i knew that there can be so many emotions to such a trip. i am excited to go. to really find out whom i am and to travel the world. to find God and to learn what my faith really means and how to live that out. but, i am leaving everyone. and, although a lot of that happened when i left after high school, the mentality is different. i will be starting new. fresh. and yet everything will change. i guess that's essentially what i want. but, change is scary 'cause you don't have answers looking @ you right in the face. i think that there's a word for that... faith. faith in the unknown, knowing that God can and will guide and direct you, even though you may not know where. i fear and love the unknown. i want to become into whom i should when i leave. but, more than anything i want to be open. open to new things. open to life on my own. open to life changes, in which i may never turn back. experiencing God's beauty, and knowing that he is so much more than what i see. i have a hunger a hunger to know God and make him known. not saying i'll be perfect. and, not saying that i totally know what i'm getting myself into. but, i am saying take me. mold me. make me into whom You believe i should become. i love and want You more than anything, and am willing to put my agenda behind me... so i can focus on what i need to focus on.