Destiny or only desire?

i want something familiar. something that i can hold onto. just one thing to think that life, or at least a small portion of it can be put in a neatly folded envelope. and to know that the envelope is secure. nothing is going to change it. the contents are always going to be the same, and i can put my total faith in that.

and, once i'll get that i'll probably want some type of change. weird how we always want something, and yet don't strive for it. we just expect it. i mean, God is unchanging and i can put my total faith in him, and yet it's easier for me to say, "i wish that i could have something unchanging" then rather looking, and working for it.

why is life like that? why do we have expectations and yet no ambitions. wants and still don't sustain our needs. desires and no desire to make it happen.

all we want is results when, the result is not the answer. the way you get to result actually is what makes you, you. the love and desires and ambitions we have are real. they are not a fairytale that cannot happen. rather they are dreams waiting for their reality. and, since we don't believe that this could actually happen, we brush off our dreams and desires and life goals. only to make ourselves into something we never anticipated. but still always asking, "how did i end up here?". which again proves that we still believe that change cannot happen, or at least for ourselves. and, so instead of our desires shaping us, we allow our lies to shape us... into a life of lies.