"What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: 'Faith, hope, and love'? That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not pyschology or literature...we lack a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth....a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God's earth, and the destruction of God's world. To rage when little children must die of hunger, when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God. And remember the signs of the Christian Church have been the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove, and the Fish...but never the chameleon."
-Kaj Munk, priest and playwright, shortly before being hung with his Bible in hand by the Gestapo in January 1944
I love these words. as much as they speak for theirself, so does the ending. I would challenge us to think about our realness of faith... not one that comes and goes with the wind, but one that stays strong and endures through the storm. to have a faith that is real enough to die for, not because it's an escape or proving but simply because we will not back down for the truth.
some say that truth is relative, to that i would say, how then can it be truth? seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. we could use our excuses to block and deflect away from God, but in the end there's still our longing, our deep sense and need for something more. the whole question is when? when will you turn away from God to harden your hearts more, and when will you fall into the beautiful grace of the one who loves you unconditionally. those thoughts usually only sinks into a head-knowledge deep, but if allowed them sink into our hearts, i believe it can change our thinking, and therefore change our lives and those around us.
now some may say, well how do you know that the truth is Christ? to that i would say, ask God. ask him... he knows your thoughts before you think them, and if you are genuine, i believe that he will revile himself to you in his timing. but, i am not God, and therefore would not be the best to "prove him" to you. he must be sought after... he likes being found, and always draws you deeper. know that his love is unconditional and the depth of his being is as well.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
moving up some stairs
so, i'm moving. it's funny 'cause i only have a month and a bit left, but i'm moving up one flight of stairs to live with some other ladies in the center. i feel as though stairs have been my life story... we have so many to climb, and even though we get closer to Christ each time we do, we also realize how little we are compared to the infinetness of Christ. i mean no matter how many stairs we climb we'll still be an infinite distance from beginning to understand Christ.
although that may sound depressing, it's actually been the most freeing thing ever. you can say, well then what's the point in trying to climb... and this is the beauty of the answer, "because we want to be closer to Christ." it's not because we need to for God to love us more or less. it's not because we have to, and it's not because we have to "tell others about Christ"... it's just that we want to be with Christ. we will tell others about Christ in the meantime. we will fall in love with the hard times, the good times and the most real times, not because it's fun but because Christ is in ALL of it. from our rising up to our lieing down... he knows everything we do. we don't have prove ourselves by going the 1,100 billionth mile, we can really be with God throughout each step, and inspire others along the way to wake up and move in Christ... just because it's much better to be present with Christ then to be distant to real life.
i have been doing a lot of thinking about options after Thailand. i'm not really worried about it, and it's quite freeing, but in all honesty i just want a real life, with real faith, real friends, and this reality changing my life and others around me. i know it's not in what i do, but in why i do it... and that's just the pressing question... why?
although that may sound depressing, it's actually been the most freeing thing ever. you can say, well then what's the point in trying to climb... and this is the beauty of the answer, "because we want to be closer to Christ." it's not because we need to for God to love us more or less. it's not because we have to, and it's not because we have to "tell others about Christ"... it's just that we want to be with Christ. we will tell others about Christ in the meantime. we will fall in love with the hard times, the good times and the most real times, not because it's fun but because Christ is in ALL of it. from our rising up to our lieing down... he knows everything we do. we don't have prove ourselves by going the 1,100 billionth mile, we can really be with God throughout each step, and inspire others along the way to wake up and move in Christ... just because it's much better to be present with Christ then to be distant to real life.
i have been doing a lot of thinking about options after Thailand. i'm not really worried about it, and it's quite freeing, but in all honesty i just want a real life, with real faith, real friends, and this reality changing my life and others around me. i know it's not in what i do, but in why i do it... and that's just the pressing question... why?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
update # 5
hey hey hey! so, here's another update. things seem to be going quite leew leew (fast) out here. it's going well, i'm enjoying it, and it's funny 'cause now when i'm feeling more solid ground in That culture, the hot 30+ weather is feeling normal, and i'm feeling more like family, i'm planning on leaving! it's funny how everything works out, like when i almost start to feel comfortable, everything seems to change! it's a good/hard thing. i've been moving a lot this past year... and as much as i've loved it, it's hard 'cause i'm going through so much! it would be nice to have a travel buddy, to bounce ideas off with, but i'm really enjoying this time in my life, just how it is. the problem is that when you travel it's hard to put into words what you're going through as it seems more like a different world rather then a different continent.
i'm excited for roy and bonita's return. they left at the end of last month for a one month excursion to the states where roy has some meetings. anyways, they'll be back this coming thursday.
things at the house have seemed a little hectic since last time. there was a fire next door, and that didn't really affect us... but the emotional side of things seems to be getting to us a lot. there's so many decisions about making good choices. i know that i've made my fare share of negative ones, but when you're on the outside looking in it brings a whole different outlook on things. i care for the ladies, but i don't care for the sin. it's hard to know how much to care and about what. i'm not stressed about it, i just care and know that they are amazing people, i just wish they knew that and accepted it, deep down into their being. there seems to be a level of heaviness in the household, it's not necessarily bad, as it can be needed for change, but it still is rather heavy!
speaking of ladies, it looks as though there's going to be another lady joining us on the 5th of next month. well, that's the plan for now. if you'd pray about it, one lady looks very interested in coming and some of her friends might come and join her as well. i'd love for more roommates!
i've also gone to cambodia since last time i wrote an update letter. it's so amazing how everything worked out, and a long story short i got a 60 day visa, which lasts exactly until the day i am going to leave. God's timing is impeccable! it's hard for me to even try to fathom how big he is... and how much he cares. i guess i'll leave you with that. God's care. i mean, it's not something i say all the time... but God is love. he's not an aspect of it or an expression of it, he is the essence of love... now what does love mean?
thank-you so much for your care, prayers and insight into my life and Christ. if you have any questions, comments, or just want to talk, you can reach me here or on facebook
i'm excited for roy and bonita's return. they left at the end of last month for a one month excursion to the states where roy has some meetings. anyways, they'll be back this coming thursday.
things at the house have seemed a little hectic since last time. there was a fire next door, and that didn't really affect us... but the emotional side of things seems to be getting to us a lot. there's so many decisions about making good choices. i know that i've made my fare share of negative ones, but when you're on the outside looking in it brings a whole different outlook on things. i care for the ladies, but i don't care for the sin. it's hard to know how much to care and about what. i'm not stressed about it, i just care and know that they are amazing people, i just wish they knew that and accepted it, deep down into their being. there seems to be a level of heaviness in the household, it's not necessarily bad, as it can be needed for change, but it still is rather heavy!
speaking of ladies, it looks as though there's going to be another lady joining us on the 5th of next month. well, that's the plan for now. if you'd pray about it, one lady looks very interested in coming and some of her friends might come and join her as well. i'd love for more roommates!
i've also gone to cambodia since last time i wrote an update letter. it's so amazing how everything worked out, and a long story short i got a 60 day visa, which lasts exactly until the day i am going to leave. God's timing is impeccable! it's hard for me to even try to fathom how big he is... and how much he cares. i guess i'll leave you with that. God's care. i mean, it's not something i say all the time... but God is love. he's not an aspect of it or an expression of it, he is the essence of love... now what does love mean?
thank-you so much for your care, prayers and insight into my life and Christ. if you have any questions, comments, or just want to talk, you can reach me here or on facebook
Saturday, February 9, 2008
finally the cambo trip
ok, so i've finally worked up the "courage" to do it!
to put in into persepective, i met this lady on tuesday night, an amazing lady who's 18, has quite an amazing story of faith by just coming to thailand after her DTS not knowing what she was to do, or anything of the sort, but just coming on faith. she was so open and broken to Christ and infront of me. it was so beautiful. so, i prayed, "God i want that. i want the faith and the brokenness in YOU! i need that to be real in life." 2 days later i'm on my way to cambodia, with no place to stay, no adjenda and no sense of control.
i guess it's what i prayed for, and it's been good. really. it's just funny how when we pray we think God will answer the prayer in a sensible way. God is way to big to be sensible... haha.
i went on the 7:30 bus to a bordering city on the thai side. when i got past the border i got into a taxi with 4 other locals (to save over 1500 baht (45 dollars)). they didn't speak english. they didn't understand me... and the 4 hours of dark nighttime as we were driving i tried to keep my attention on praying and not thinking. as doing this, i got some thoughts as to what i should do when in phnom phen, Cambodia.
anyways, arrived at 9:30 only to look on the internet for a good/cheep hostel or hotel. i found one for 10$ that has all-night check-in... so i went. it was decent and after i figured out where i was to go the next morning, i went to bed, and thanked God i was there!
the next morning i made it to the embassy, things went more then smoothly and they were very helpful and polite in how they helped me. i briefly talked to an older man whom was needing a little help getting his information filled out.
i then had a wonderful morning, and as i went to the central market in phnom phen i thought, God what am i doing here? i found myself in a market which i didn't want to be in. after that prayer, or subconcious thought i stumbled across this lovely lady and began to have conversation with her. we became great friends and she explained how she helps her mother, lives on 1 dollar a day, makes basically everything she sells, became fatherless a very young age, and how she wants to help other children whom do not have their parents to look after them.
we planned to meet at 7 later on that day. as i was walking home (to my hotel) and the man that i briefly said hi to at the embassy runs from an internet cafe and says, "hey, i found a really good deal on a bus from phnom phen to the border, you can get it here" and he pointed it out to me on a map. he was busy, so after that he just left. now, as random as this may seem, i didn't even think about the ticket the whole day. i was to leave the next morning, and it didn't ever dawn on me. so, needless to say i went and got the ticket before meeting with my new found friend from the market.
as a side note, God was asking me (before i went on the "trip to cambodia") what i did as a child on a trip. and, the conclusion was i just went along with whatever my parents did. he said, that's what i want to do for you. no adjenda just alowing me to lead. so, this whole trip was God lead and inspired by faith. it was one of the most enjoyable times ever.
so, i met my friend at a bar/restaurant/rent-rooms place. it's a bar but with they have rooms you can rent by the hour above the bar. anyways, this lady was telling me how she used to work there, but she would not go with any of the customers. (this was one of the thoughts i got in the car, if God wanted to open my eyes to prostiution in cambodia that he would do so). anyways, we had a long talk, and she was very knowledgable. she went to thailand and worked on a plantation after highschool for 2 years. now, she didn't speak the language, know the people or even have experience to what she was doing. she mentioned that they would work double the hours we would work in canada for an average day of work... with (if lucky) one day a week off.
all this injustice of one side of the world and glutony of the other side of the world put me into a righteous anger that night. although i get all the crap going on, it doesn't mean that it's easy for someone's life to be like that. they're not just stats, they're stories. they're real people that feel and care and have an outlook that is valid. that mixed with the dozens of children i saw begging for their lives (money) on the streets that night alone, struck a chord as well. life isn't what i/they/we thought it was going to be. it's real with real questions... not just always fun and games.
with that said, this travel experience was amazing to see God's imagination flow through. he is so imaginative how he got my attention with that lady and how things worked out, (driving with locals to the capital city, even from the food eating, the impecable timing, and so much more!). he's just so big, and it's amazing when "we abide in him" as oppose to just trying to comprehend him... 'cause we can't do it. but, when we abide in him, things begin to really happen.
anyways, on my way back from phenom phen i sat beside a lady. i tried to speak a little thai with her and she began to speak english. she was from burma and a refugee from the 1988 january unrest. her story was amazing. she fled the country and went to the states for 20 years, without her family or any close relatives, but along with 5,599 other refugees. she was 47 when she fled. could you imagine? anyways, she went on and on and on about her amazing story. i loved hearing it.
i then got a call from my friend (the open and broken lady i talked about before, leslie) and began talking with everything that Christ has been doing. i was on a public bus, with 99% farangs (foreigners, aka they understood what i was saying). i went on and on about this lady i met and the whole prostitution thing (when just across from me there was a man with a thai lady sitting right next to him, i have a sneeky suspicion they met that night). i went on and on about all the faith issues and everything. i kid you not, the whole bus was a dead silence. NO ONE was talking. it was very interesting, to say the least.
anyways, then i began talking with the lady about her beliefs, buddhism and again brought up the similarities between his teachings and Jesus'. i've written about that in a previous blog, but it was again a very interesting converstation.
the whirl-wind trip was amazing... and it's amazing how God answers prayers. thank-you for your care and prayers. these have been challenging times, but have always been overcome by facing the issues, grieving over them, and allowing Christ to put a new perspective on them. it's so much learning...
anyways, i'd love to hear from you! e-mails, comments, whatever. msn. my msn is on my old e-mail address- idontknowhatodosoimdoingthis@hotmail.com and my new e-mail address that you can reach me at is danaekrahn@gmail.com. i also have facebook, look me up!
thanks guys
to put in into persepective, i met this lady on tuesday night, an amazing lady who's 18, has quite an amazing story of faith by just coming to thailand after her DTS not knowing what she was to do, or anything of the sort, but just coming on faith. she was so open and broken to Christ and infront of me. it was so beautiful. so, i prayed, "God i want that. i want the faith and the brokenness in YOU! i need that to be real in life." 2 days later i'm on my way to cambodia, with no place to stay, no adjenda and no sense of control.
i guess it's what i prayed for, and it's been good. really. it's just funny how when we pray we think God will answer the prayer in a sensible way. God is way to big to be sensible... haha.
i went on the 7:30 bus to a bordering city on the thai side. when i got past the border i got into a taxi with 4 other locals (to save over 1500 baht (45 dollars)). they didn't speak english. they didn't understand me... and the 4 hours of dark nighttime as we were driving i tried to keep my attention on praying and not thinking. as doing this, i got some thoughts as to what i should do when in phnom phen, Cambodia.
anyways, arrived at 9:30 only to look on the internet for a good/cheep hostel or hotel. i found one for 10$ that has all-night check-in... so i went. it was decent and after i figured out where i was to go the next morning, i went to bed, and thanked God i was there!
the next morning i made it to the embassy, things went more then smoothly and they were very helpful and polite in how they helped me. i briefly talked to an older man whom was needing a little help getting his information filled out.
i then had a wonderful morning, and as i went to the central market in phnom phen i thought, God what am i doing here? i found myself in a market which i didn't want to be in. after that prayer, or subconcious thought i stumbled across this lovely lady and began to have conversation with her. we became great friends and she explained how she helps her mother, lives on 1 dollar a day, makes basically everything she sells, became fatherless a very young age, and how she wants to help other children whom do not have their parents to look after them.
we planned to meet at 7 later on that day. as i was walking home (to my hotel) and the man that i briefly said hi to at the embassy runs from an internet cafe and says, "hey, i found a really good deal on a bus from phnom phen to the border, you can get it here" and he pointed it out to me on a map. he was busy, so after that he just left. now, as random as this may seem, i didn't even think about the ticket the whole day. i was to leave the next morning, and it didn't ever dawn on me. so, needless to say i went and got the ticket before meeting with my new found friend from the market.
as a side note, God was asking me (before i went on the "trip to cambodia") what i did as a child on a trip. and, the conclusion was i just went along with whatever my parents did. he said, that's what i want to do for you. no adjenda just alowing me to lead. so, this whole trip was God lead and inspired by faith. it was one of the most enjoyable times ever.
so, i met my friend at a bar/restaurant/rent-rooms place. it's a bar but with they have rooms you can rent by the hour above the bar. anyways, this lady was telling me how she used to work there, but she would not go with any of the customers. (this was one of the thoughts i got in the car, if God wanted to open my eyes to prostiution in cambodia that he would do so). anyways, we had a long talk, and she was very knowledgable. she went to thailand and worked on a plantation after highschool for 2 years. now, she didn't speak the language, know the people or even have experience to what she was doing. she mentioned that they would work double the hours we would work in canada for an average day of work... with (if lucky) one day a week off.
all this injustice of one side of the world and glutony of the other side of the world put me into a righteous anger that night. although i get all the crap going on, it doesn't mean that it's easy for someone's life to be like that. they're not just stats, they're stories. they're real people that feel and care and have an outlook that is valid. that mixed with the dozens of children i saw begging for their lives (money) on the streets that night alone, struck a chord as well. life isn't what i/they/we thought it was going to be. it's real with real questions... not just always fun and games.
with that said, this travel experience was amazing to see God's imagination flow through. he is so imaginative how he got my attention with that lady and how things worked out, (driving with locals to the capital city, even from the food eating, the impecable timing, and so much more!). he's just so big, and it's amazing when "we abide in him" as oppose to just trying to comprehend him... 'cause we can't do it. but, when we abide in him, things begin to really happen.
anyways, on my way back from phenom phen i sat beside a lady. i tried to speak a little thai with her and she began to speak english. she was from burma and a refugee from the 1988 january unrest. her story was amazing. she fled the country and went to the states for 20 years, without her family or any close relatives, but along with 5,599 other refugees. she was 47 when she fled. could you imagine? anyways, she went on and on and on about her amazing story. i loved hearing it.
i then got a call from my friend (the open and broken lady i talked about before, leslie) and began talking with everything that Christ has been doing. i was on a public bus, with 99% farangs (foreigners, aka they understood what i was saying). i went on and on about this lady i met and the whole prostitution thing (when just across from me there was a man with a thai lady sitting right next to him, i have a sneeky suspicion they met that night). i went on and on about all the faith issues and everything. i kid you not, the whole bus was a dead silence. NO ONE was talking. it was very interesting, to say the least.
anyways, then i began talking with the lady about her beliefs, buddhism and again brought up the similarities between his teachings and Jesus'. i've written about that in a previous blog, but it was again a very interesting converstation.
the whirl-wind trip was amazing... and it's amazing how God answers prayers. thank-you for your care and prayers. these have been challenging times, but have always been overcome by facing the issues, grieving over them, and allowing Christ to put a new perspective on them. it's so much learning...
anyways, i'd love to hear from you! e-mails, comments, whatever. msn. my msn is on my old e-mail address- idontknowhatodosoimdoingthis@hotmail.com and my new e-mail address that you can reach me at is danaekrahn@gmail.com. i also have facebook, look me up!
thanks guys
Sunday, February 3, 2008
God is God
although i am extatic about what Christ did on the trip, i feel quite unable to talk about the events. seeing the little children on the streets, seeing the prostitution along the riverside and the dire need for love has struck a chord.
i get angry about the greed of my nation and the injustice of others. the need to please in other nations, and the need to be right in ours. we're all messed up. i get it. but, where is God in all of it? where is Christ.
if Christ and God is real i have to be able to ask God the tough questions like, "God, i know that you say, 'i know the desires of your heart.' but how can you care about the desires of people who beg for their next meal, for those who are discriminated against, and little children who don't know where they are going to sleep? it just doesn't make sense." and be able to beleive that he is still God after those questions are asked. not saying that they will all be answered but saying that there is a faith that when he said, "seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you" he meant it. anyways, a lot has been going through my head about this, and it's hard for me to all take in.
anyways, i'm doing well. i really am. it's been nice to be open with Christ about what's going on and feeling open about my feelings. it's also been streching in many ways.
i get angry about the greed of my nation and the injustice of others. the need to please in other nations, and the need to be right in ours. we're all messed up. i get it. but, where is God in all of it? where is Christ.
if Christ and God is real i have to be able to ask God the tough questions like, "God, i know that you say, 'i know the desires of your heart.' but how can you care about the desires of people who beg for their next meal, for those who are discriminated against, and little children who don't know where they are going to sleep? it just doesn't make sense." and be able to beleive that he is still God after those questions are asked. not saying that they will all be answered but saying that there is a faith that when he said, "seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you" he meant it. anyways, a lot has been going through my head about this, and it's hard for me to all take in.
anyways, i'm doing well. i really am. it's been nice to be open with Christ about what's going on and feeling open about my feelings. it's also been streching in many ways.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
cambodia and back
the whole trip was a whirlwind worth remembering. the whole day travels today and on thursday didn't stop my adventurous spirit any bit.
i caught a 7:30 bus from Mo Chit bus station on thursday morning. the timing was impeccable. i ran and caught the BTS (sky train) just in time. the bus left within 5 minutes of me getting there. these were only the birth pains of the adventure to come!
sleep was the main hobby on the bus, and keeping my bag wrapped around my legs was the next enjoyable thing. the scenery is amazing. it's amazing to see people driving a motorcycle with 30 young coconuts strapped on, or 10 reed mats folded underneath the passenger on a motorcycle. but, what i find the most interesting is the people and their way of life. the rice fields and the housing. you learn a lot by people just by their demeanour.
anyways, arrived at the border, got past the Thai embassy officials, who overlooked the 2 days overstayed. the Cambodia side of the border went well, and i sneaked my way into a taxi with 3 other locals in order to cut the taxi cost into 1/4 of the price.
those 6 hours were good... but also a little stressful. i don't know why, but when i have a lot of time to think, i do... and maybe not on the most positive things. such as, where am i going to stay? what if i just get dropped off anywhere? and on and on. i usually just tried to quote scripture, rather then focus on my insecurities of what i think God can do.
i also did a lot of praying. praying for friends, family and the trip ahead. prayer against ephesians 6:12 "for our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places". it later goes on to talk about putting on the armour of God... and i hope that we as a church can do that together.
anyways, i saw the word, "imperial" and i also saw a picture of prostitution in phnom phen, Cambodia. I prayed into both.
finding the place to stay was okay. i just found one on the internet that looked good, and went. i looked up the word imperial... but didn't really come up with anything.
next day i went to the thai embassy, and the whole timing went amazingly well. i go off of a time i see to wake up in the morning. i'm like, "God what time?" and then i just wake up then. anyways, longer story short i got to the embassy just as it was opening. everything went much smoother then i could have anticipated.
i then did some sight seeing... by walking in the heat of the day (probably not the smartest, but it was good to get on my feet). i couldn't stop singing. i was just so happy how God had been providing. i went past the independace monument (kinda like a victory monument, they put up a monument in the middle of a round-about to show their "independace i guess." it was cool.
i asked around about something called imperial. this man directed me to the "imperial garden villa" where i had a real western meal. i know that it doesn't sound good, but to put it into perspective last time i went to cambodia i almost swore that i wouldn't go again because i got so sick. it actually reminded me about a luncheon. questions about my future were raised up. oh, i got accepted into TWU... and got a 2500 dollar grant due to my marks! woohoo! pretty sweet... but there's also been some other things on my mind too. this is personally draining for me to think about as it is not a black or white, yes or no, right or wrong answer but just options which will direct the course of my life drastically.
i could go to school. i could go for 4 years, learn sociology through an amazing school and with amazing people. God has also been putting the thought of going to New Zealand. i could hopefully staff a school out in new zealand. i don't have any specifics yet, but i love New Zealand's warrior heart for Christ. if i go back i will need to spend more time with locals and understand their true warrior heart.
and although these are both options, i think that the reasons why i would want to do either are the main issue. i want to live by faith and not by sight. i want to realize that the verse Matt. 19:24 is applicable to me (the camel going through the eye of a needle). i don't want to fall into the day by day routine of things. i want to fall into the daily faith routine of things. i know that i could do this in either setting, and don't get me wrong, i want to go back to school (otherwise i wouldn't have applied). it's just a lot of processing... and i'm not worried, just thinking.
anyways, there's more about the trip, but i'll talk about it later. i'm going to bed!
i caught a 7:30 bus from Mo Chit bus station on thursday morning. the timing was impeccable. i ran and caught the BTS (sky train) just in time. the bus left within 5 minutes of me getting there. these were only the birth pains of the adventure to come!
sleep was the main hobby on the bus, and keeping my bag wrapped around my legs was the next enjoyable thing. the scenery is amazing. it's amazing to see people driving a motorcycle with 30 young coconuts strapped on, or 10 reed mats folded underneath the passenger on a motorcycle. but, what i find the most interesting is the people and their way of life. the rice fields and the housing. you learn a lot by people just by their demeanour.
anyways, arrived at the border, got past the Thai embassy officials, who overlooked the 2 days overstayed. the Cambodia side of the border went well, and i sneaked my way into a taxi with 3 other locals in order to cut the taxi cost into 1/4 of the price.
those 6 hours were good... but also a little stressful. i don't know why, but when i have a lot of time to think, i do... and maybe not on the most positive things. such as, where am i going to stay? what if i just get dropped off anywhere? and on and on. i usually just tried to quote scripture, rather then focus on my insecurities of what i think God can do.
i also did a lot of praying. praying for friends, family and the trip ahead. prayer against ephesians 6:12 "for our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places". it later goes on to talk about putting on the armour of God... and i hope that we as a church can do that together.
anyways, i saw the word, "imperial" and i also saw a picture of prostitution in phnom phen, Cambodia. I prayed into both.
finding the place to stay was okay. i just found one on the internet that looked good, and went. i looked up the word imperial... but didn't really come up with anything.
next day i went to the thai embassy, and the whole timing went amazingly well. i go off of a time i see to wake up in the morning. i'm like, "God what time?" and then i just wake up then. anyways, longer story short i got to the embassy just as it was opening. everything went much smoother then i could have anticipated.
i then did some sight seeing... by walking in the heat of the day (probably not the smartest, but it was good to get on my feet). i couldn't stop singing. i was just so happy how God had been providing. i went past the independace monument (kinda like a victory monument, they put up a monument in the middle of a round-about to show their "independace i guess." it was cool.
i asked around about something called imperial. this man directed me to the "imperial garden villa" where i had a real western meal. i know that it doesn't sound good, but to put it into perspective last time i went to cambodia i almost swore that i wouldn't go again because i got so sick. it actually reminded me about a luncheon. questions about my future were raised up. oh, i got accepted into TWU... and got a 2500 dollar grant due to my marks! woohoo! pretty sweet... but there's also been some other things on my mind too. this is personally draining for me to think about as it is not a black or white, yes or no, right or wrong answer but just options which will direct the course of my life drastically.
i could go to school. i could go for 4 years, learn sociology through an amazing school and with amazing people. God has also been putting the thought of going to New Zealand. i could hopefully staff a school out in new zealand. i don't have any specifics yet, but i love New Zealand's warrior heart for Christ. if i go back i will need to spend more time with locals and understand their true warrior heart.
and although these are both options, i think that the reasons why i would want to do either are the main issue. i want to live by faith and not by sight. i want to realize that the verse Matt. 19:24 is applicable to me (the camel going through the eye of a needle). i don't want to fall into the day by day routine of things. i want to fall into the daily faith routine of things. i know that i could do this in either setting, and don't get me wrong, i want to go back to school (otherwise i wouldn't have applied). it's just a lot of processing... and i'm not worried, just thinking.
anyways, there's more about the trip, but i'll talk about it later. i'm going to bed!
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