Supersize me

here i am. take me. i cannot do this on my own. i am tired and really just want to do nothing but sleep. it's not right, but it's how i feel. and, although feelings are not what i should base my life on, it is still a major thing in my life. i am tired. i am not able to fool myself, and all i want is for life... and to live it to it's fullest potential.

why you may ask? she has everything in front of her. she has a chance to travel the world. she has a great job. she has an awesome family that loves her.

these things are amazing, and no doubt i thank God for them everyday. that's not the point. the circumstances don't define a person. there are some things you can and cannot change. i am trying my hardest to make positive decisions. and, yet nothing can fill this, sense of drained life.

some may say it's because i don't have enough faith or that i'm not a good enough Christian. to them i ask, what makes a Christian? really? is it one who believes without questioning, and finds that the sole fulfillment of life? or is it to have the faith that things will be alright? why don't we stop fixing and start loving? stop conforming and start confronting, confronting not to prove our point but to let our point be shown that it has relevance. everyone has an opinion. and, i'm not even going to try to judge them on that. i will have my beliefs and i will be open to other people's opinions but i cannot handle it if i will be force fed and then expected to enjoy what i have been shoved down my throat. this is not how life should be.