Paths of Life

so, to be completely honest, everything has seemed a little overwhelming lately. there's a "western bangkok" which you don't even get into the culture, let alone get out of your comfort zone... and then there's "thai bangkok". like i told my friend in an e-mail "it's like a different world and i'm the alien actually trying to get into the culture." it's overwhelming in the sense that everything which you used to equate some relevance/identity/purpose in your life is all of a sudden stripped from you. it's like your looking for something to grab for your identity, and all the old luxuries are not there anymore... there's nothing for you to truly identify yourself with... except Christ. and, it's hard because when there's been so much emphasise on your personal capabilities to all of a sudden just accept the fact that Christ will love you regardless of what you've done, where you are, what you will do, or any other excuse you can give for Christ to not love you; well, it puts you in such a vulnerable position as you finally accept that Christ is everything and you are not! it shows your incapablity, and anyone who knows me deeper then surface will know that it's hard for me to address confrontation. confrontation shows that there is an essence of imperfection, and imperfection seems like you're not living up to the standards which you should be. but, that's an outrageous standard when you actually think of it. when we try to be perfect, we put the emphasise off of the grace of Christ and onto our capabilities. anyways, that's what's been going on in my heart lately. it's been difficult to address key problems, and i'm learning what surrendering everyday actually looks like. it's hard, but good... that seems to be the theme!



anyways, as for events, i went to Northern Thailand/Laos for the New Years. it was amazing. i met some amazing friends... along wih their 2 twins! and, spent some real quality time with Ann, her daughter and her nanny as well... it was just so much fun!

it was a nice time to breathe and have some time to clear my head, as well as learn more about different problems around the world (reading books). anyways, i hope that you all had an amazing new year. i'll see you this year!