so, bonita and roy and gone as of tomorrow morning. i'm kinda nervous about being here for a month without their guidance. they've become a great source of life for me! they've been mentors, elders, confidors, friends and so much more. i'm excited for their time in california as they will be able to connect with some really great friends as well connect with their close relatives out there. i'm just a little nervous.
so, i'll be teaching english every monday, tuesday, thursday and friday (ann ususally teaches friday but she may be gone). i teach from 10 am to 11:30 am. only to scarf down lunch and go off to thai class from 1-4. i've got some great friends there...
it's hard for me lately though 'cause well, for the last year i've been on my feet so much that i have been moving from one place to the next within 3 months or less. since grad the longest place that i've stayed in one place is 7-8 months. and, now that i'm hitting less of a culture shock and more of a living atmosphere i feel kinda drained. the sense of community which i used to find quite redily is now all of a sudden drained... or just completed in a different sense. it's hard for me to relate to others out here... and it's just different. they don't have any physical touch, rarely a hug, kiss or any physical affecion in public. it's just different and sometimes i wish i could just "get it" and "relate perfectly"... but i can't and that's real life.
also, the more i think about going home the more i realize that this whole experience will also make it difficult to be able to related to others back at home. not in the "hugs" sense, but in the deeper, traveling sense. there's so much that is learnt over traveling... it makes you have more of an outward focus, and its' hard when you're not directly affected by some injustice to care about it. i totally understand that. but, it's different now and i just don't know how it's going to be when i go home (regarding the whole "fitting in" kinda thing). i may be wrong (and i hope i am actually), but i think this could be very likely.
i was writting in my journal saying that i don't dig my roots down deep within the place i stay but rather the people i meet. it seems more like there are certain people i connect with, and as the countries change the faces do too, but the connection and love from others is always there. thank-you for that love and for allowing those relationships/friendships/whatever you want to call them, bond and mold us into whom we are. i've learnt more about myself through others and Christ then me thinking about it. i've noticed the love and the joy and the peace and the true care for and from others. thank-you for your care and lives which i can be connected to. with that said, please contact me if you'd like.
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