moving up some stairs

so, i'm moving. it's funny 'cause i only have a month and a bit left, but i'm moving up one flight of stairs to live with some other ladies in the center. i feel as though stairs have been my life story... we have so many to climb, and even though we get closer to Christ each time we do, we also realize how little we are compared to the infinetness of Christ. i mean no matter how many stairs we climb we'll still be an infinite distance from beginning to understand Christ.

although that may sound depressing, it's actually been the most freeing thing ever. you can say, well then what's the point in trying to climb... and this is the beauty of the answer, "because we want to be closer to Christ." it's not because we need to for God to love us more or less. it's not because we have to, and it's not because we have to "tell others about Christ"... it's just that we want to be with Christ. we will tell others about Christ in the meantime. we will fall in love with the hard times, the good times and the most real times, not because it's fun but because Christ is in ALL of it. from our rising up to our lieing down... he knows everything we do. we don't have prove ourselves by going the 1,100 billionth mile, we can really be with God throughout each step, and inspire others along the way to wake up and move in Christ... just because it's much better to be present with Christ then to be distant to real life.

i have been doing a lot of thinking about options after Thailand. i'm not really worried about it, and it's quite freeing, but in all honesty i just want a real life, with real faith, real friends, and this reality changing my life and others around me. i know it's not in what i do, but in why i do it... and that's just the pressing question... why?