Change or Transform?

what is change? i mean, so much of the time i hear myself say, oh i just want to change the way i do some things, from the way i look to the way i act... but i'm starting to think that it might not be in change but in transformation.

when we change, we're looking at our old way of doing something, and adapting it to be something better. it's kinda like we're reactive rather then proactive. we notice something's negative and then change. but, that means we are changing to "fix" the problem, rather then solve it. let me explain. it's like if you'd be in a house that has a leak in one of the pipes. we tell the plumber to just weld the pipe together, or at most to replace the one part. the plumber then notices that the whole piping is rusted out and should be replaced. but we say, "i don't have enough money to replace all the piping right now, so i'm sorry. can you just fix it for now?" (we're unwilling to make sacrifices to make it happen, is usually the problem)

we're not trying to make things better, but make them work. some people actually allow all the piping to be re-installed, and i LOVE when that happens. unfortunatley most of the time we only fix the problem 'cause we think that's all that can be done. we think that if we take apart the whole piping, it's going to cost too much, and take too long, and be too much work. we convince ourselves that it's not worth it... but something that we do not consciously do is hand it down to next generations. the rusty pipes will affect anyone who would be using the pipes in any sort of form, but especially those living in the house. these problems affect others.

anyways, i like allowing God to reviel the problems with the piping (issues/core beliefs) in my life and others... not because it's fun but because i do believe that it can be done, not on our own strength but on Christ. to deal with the problems, grieving through the issues of life, and allowing our lives to be transformed by Christ each and everyday. to take up our cross and follow him, and to mourn and be comforted by Christ. he's a great confider... 'cause he always has insight into the issues as he totally understands everything we go through. (he made us, how couldn't he know?!)

so, is it change that we want? or do we want something totally different. i don't know if you remember when you "became a Christian" but i remember when i chose to follow Christ. it wasn't when i was 5 saying a prayer on the couch, or 13 in youth-group, although those were good times in my life, they were not a dedication to a new way of life, but rather confirming what i had been doing. no, that's not when i chose to follow Christ. i chose to follow Christ through the hard times in life. after i had lied to those i loved, hated my life, and lost intrest in most things i had enjoyed. and then i crumbled at the cross of Christ, and told him what i thought... and gave up to truth. i told him i hated what i was doing, but found no reason to do stuff differently if we were all just going to die anyways. i told him that i did not understand the reason to live if all we did was go to school, graduate, get married, have kids and die, 'cause if that's all there is to life then why would anyone live? i told him a whole lot more as well... like how i was sick of religion. and how we all try to pretend like if we do these 10 things we're going to go to heaven... it's pretend 'cause when would you ever know that you're good enough to go to heaven? when would you ever know that you've done enough or accomplished enough or proved yourself enough? and my thought is never.

so i gave up. i gave up to the truth that we never can do enough. that we don't deserve to go to heaven... and these facts show me that it's not based on me but on something else. on Christ. Christ is freeing 'cause of grace. yes, because of global relevance in his teaching and because of his amazing outlook on others and how to love them... but first i started with grace. 'cause when you get grace (being given something you don't deserve) then you transform. you don't change. you transform. the difference of transformation and change is that transformation happens on the inside and is expressed out, while change is trying to change the outward expression to define what's inside.

every behavior is purposeful. so, everything that we do is because of something. most of the time we try to make our behavior perfect, so that others may be fooled into thinking that we essentially are perfect. but, no matter how many people we fool, we never fool ourself. and after you've made the profile of yourself, it can be hard to just be real for once.

so, that's a little bit on transformation. transformation changes how we view life... and therefore changes how we do things. unfortunately we are (or at least i am) human, and can go back and forth between what we believe as core truths.