it's real life now

so, after the initial shock and then the settling in culture shock, thailand seems more like real life.

and, when i say real life it's not super easy. this last week has been a struggle. there's disunity within the household, but mainly due to respect issues (from not doing jobs, to talking back, to threatening... even threatening to leave). but, it's allowing everyone's colors to show. we (mainly bonita, ann and i) are praying for healing for the ladies here, and as wonderful of a prayer as it is... it's really difficult to deal with the issues as they arise.

just think about it through their eyes... even if it is impossible to fully comprehend. you've been disowned at a young age. probably abused. you've been involved in prostitution. rape. you've dealt with pregnancy at a young age (15 for example). abortions. always looking out for yourself... no matter what it takes.

hurting people hurt people.

the past doesn't just dissolve in one day. it's not fun. and, the healing is hard. there are wrong decisions. and, it's tough love. the tension at home has been hard.

the spiritual warfare is intense. when bonita and ann where talking to the ladies the phone would ring at key times (crying times!). honestly, a hydro line blew up at a key point... it's ridiculous.

i wrote in my journal the other day...
"I feel claustrophobic. not in the sense of having a desire to 'get out' but more of an acknowledgement of the fact that there is so much evil surrounding me. so much that seems to be closing in. but, i just want to thank-You for the light. There's a piercing light within this claustrophobia. It's constant. Consistent."

your prayers are always helpful and i thank-you so much for them. we are in a war zone right now. but, i just want to thank-you so much for all of your love. i can feel it encouraging me overseas.

don't worry, i am safe. safe and sound in the arms of Jesus. i've never felt so close to him before in my life. don't worry about me. just pray for the ladies... and for discernment as well as endurance as we face these battles. (at least we're on the winning side!)